Your pain is real. And and your pain loves to bring friends. Friends like fear, anxiety, doom, doubt, etc. And whether you like it or not, they will all cling to your side until you get through this.
But...you have options.
You can sit in silence, smiling and telling yourself and anyone who'll listen that you'll be fine soon, that you just need more patience, that's all.
You can go out every night for as late as possible so you'll be too tired to think about anything and fall right asleep.
You can drink to take the edge off, among other things.
You can date someone instantly and intensely so you don't have to spend your nights alone.
You can move and pretend you're someone else entirely.
You can wallow and cry and get angry at everyone you still have for not understanding exactly how you feel (and further reinforce that you'll never have the life you want.
OR you can get to work.
A course might sound like homework–and you might not be one of the three people in the world who actually like to do homework. But it's not anything like homework, considering a lot of homework is really just busy work. But this course is not busy work. It is life-altering work. It can change the trajectory of your whole life if you truly let it. If you dig in.
And all the other options listed above? They just keep you in the same place. Your pain and baggage is still there even if you move, even if you numb, even if you cry all night every night.
During my post-divorce days, I cried, I dated, and I told myself I needed more patience all the dang time. I stalled my progress. But after a while, I noticed that time just kept on passing and I was not feeling any better. Time wasn't the healing force I expected it to be, at least not all by itself. Neither was distraction or denial.
I had to get serious. And I had to get to work. And I am so proud of the life I've built out of the rubble.
Your choice? What's it gonna be?